Life's a funny thing

I haven't been on my blogger for about a year, weird. THere are all these posts from me about me and Ben, it's weird, it's hard to go back and read these knowing the whole time he was giving me these optimistic comments that he was cheating on me, perspective is an amazing thing. So here I am, single a year later and still having guy problems and still not knowing what I want really. I am starting a new job soon. I will have a gym membership to continue my dieting, still only lost 10 lbs, ugh, but 10 less than I was. I just want a good relationship with a nice guy, is that really too much to ask for? I don't think so..... So, Cameron has a new gf, practically and here I am....... alone. I had a heart to heart with Alex the other day, maybe he is the only guy that cares, I mean he is like my brother but I will take it over the alternative. When is my chance to be happy? When does that come?