Relationships

Amanda and I were talking the other morning over breakfast about relationships. We talked about how people demand more of their significant other than they do of their friends or relatives. People are just people, we all have relatively the same limitations and can carry relatively the same workload but people tend to expect more from the ones we choose to spend our lives with.

Tying into the previous statement, we also talked about how people seem quick to anger with a loved one about petty things that might not have bothered us if it were someone else. It seems to me that we put our lovers up on pedestals and assume they are capable of knowing exactly what we want at all times and seem to expect nothing less.

I think the biggest key to any successful relationship is communication and comprimising. I think people are sometimes afraid to communicate their needs. I think sometimes it may be quite the contrary. Some people are far too eager to share how and when, in detail, they want things. For this reason, comprimising is equally as important. Relationships are give and take. Sometimes the happiness of others might be more valuable than your own. We can't have everything we want all the time. If we got everything we wanted all the time we would be easily bored. The best part of any relationship are the surprises. I would much rather have someone show me love and affection in their own way than in the exact way I want it.

This brings me to my next and final point. Katrina had told me about this book called the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I just started reading it but it's great. It's all about how there are 5 different ways to express love and how some relationships don't work because the people in them are basically speaking a different love language. It's fascinating but as I am still only a little ways into it, I will elaborate on i another time...

Ryan

What can I say... I'm falling and falling fast. I think it was this past weekend that really felt like a milestone for me in our relationship. We met for lunch Saturday then went roller skating at Skateland. I was supposed to go with Shantae but she bailed out last minute so it was just Ryan, Alicia and I. Ryan knows how to skate, Alicia and I really don't very much. It was fun goofing around with Alicia and it was funny when I fell....it HAD to happen right in front of Ryan, for optimum laughs :( But it was nice. We had a blast. Then we went home and Ryan and I made dinner...by this I mean that he did the majority of it, I offered help with minimal things like salad and slicing things. But I think it was the idea of family that really made the difference for me. We sat at the table and had dinner then Alicica and I did the dishes. She gave me a hug right before she went to bed. I think I might be approaching the L word, in fact I know I am and it scares the hell out of me. I really like Ryan, he is a great guy but I'm terrified and what better a day I have this morning....

I thought I heard Ryan say I love you this morning when he kissed me and left for work. I was asleep so it took a minute for it to process. I awoke a few minutes later with this warm happy feeling inside. I immediately called him and asked him if I heard him right. I asked him what he said and he just said he said have a good day and he would see me later... I called him to say I love you too.

So now I'm confused... was it a Freudian slip? was I hearing what I wanted to hear? was he afraid to tell him the truth in case it wasn't reciprocal? was it really an accident?

I then watched Bride Wars today and it was a comedy but one girl was faced with the question of if the guy she was marrying was right for her and this is near and dear to me cuz of the Cameron situation. I'm deathly afraid of making a mistake again. I don't want to get so close to someone to be hurt again. What's more I get a message from Cameron and Ben today. One on myspace and one on facebook. Neither were anything like lets get back together. Cameron asked how I was and told me about his new girlfriend, Ben asked me just some food for though questions about times when we were together. This isn't weird to me because I found myself pondering things after we split too and it didn't mean I wanted to reconcile anything.

I'm really happy where I am, and who I'm with. I asked Ryan if he saw us being together for awhile and he said that was the plan. :)