Thursday, March 19, 2009
change
I'm getting ready to move in with Ryan on Saturday. I'm excited and yet scared. It's been awile...ok 2 years since I have lived lived with a guy. It's only natural to be worried, right? I found a note from an anonymous party to ryan saying to call them. I want to ask him but I don't want to be the snoopy girlfriend. I decided I am just going to ask him when he gets home tonight. I know ryan loves me and wouldn't do anything under the table but I'm scared. Can you really blame me. We are signing the lease Saturday..... so this makes me laugh. I decided today was my finish unfinished draft day. This day was funny. It was bryce's br othrt and it makes me laugh to think of how insecure I was thwn. I'm reading this fully aware of how I was seriously worried and how looking back....just how irrational it really was. Ryan is a good man :)
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
She's Just Going to Break Your Heart
So I was sitting at Coffee Rush and I started thinking back to particular relationship I had. You know the saying your loved ones say when you date a person they feel won't actually care bout you. "He's just going to break your heart." I can almost hear those words echoing in my ear from my younger days. Now, you don't really hear this if the guy or gal you are dating is just flat out rude or disrespectful. The words then would be more like "He's a jerk. You should just break up with him. I'm talking about the times you are dating those way more advanced in one degree or another. Guys would say that when their buddy meets up with an older seductress. This is what you are told when you are the goody two shoes that is dating the risk taking adventurer. I feel I was on the both sides of this story at one point in time.
I remember that is what Mike told me, only not i such cheesy words. It was more along the lines of his sister thinking I was not right for him and it would only upset him and make him sad. It's funny because, tome, I am relatively the same in any relationship at the beginning. I enjoy being myself. I think you can tell the person who is not right for you because you can't be yourself. I started that relationship like I did with Ben and Cameron. The difference was him. He was uncomfortable around bunches of people. Keep in mind, to him, this is 6 people. When I had a party, remember, tome this equates to about, um, 10 people. So it is by no means an extreme, out of control party. He felt uncomfortable and sat in my room and pouted. I realized at that point that I really just had no tolerance for this. I was like, "really?"
Exhibit B is the sex. I am by no means an expert. I don't whore it up, but no joke; our first time was 2 minutes, maybe. Afterward, I kid you not, he asked me, "Was that the best you've ever had?" If you know me, you then know that I am not a quiet person. Those who know me a bit better than that, which is no one reading this but then you REALLY know. I'm not a quiet person...in bed. If it was the best I ever had. I would have woken up every neighbor for like a half a block, and I might be unconscious. You would go outside to have a cigarette and your downstairs neighbor would give you a fist pound. You might ask, how do you know this. I answer, because that is exactly what happened when it was the best I ever had. Ok, so back to the bad sex story. I know it was mean but I fought back a chuckle. I said, "Well, it's not the best I have ever had, at this time, the best it had ever been was with a jerk I "saw" for a little while. He then proceeds to tell me it was the best he ever had and what was the best I ever had. Whew. I went on to explain, but I will leave out the graphic details since it has been exceedingly better since.
The last straw was the time Amanda and Tim were house sitting for his rich aunt and uncle. We were all sitting in the hot tub, watching Stephen Lynch and talking about WOW. See how rowdy my get togethers are. Anyway, he gets out of the tub. We all think he is going to the bathroom or something. No, he is sitting by himself inside. He came outside like 20 minutes later and says he is leaving. I went inside and asked why. He said he felt he was not included enough in the situation and he was going home. No joke. I said ok and let him go. Maybe I should have been more considerate. I was 22 then. He could legally drink and he was whining about not being included in a conversation, upset enough that he went home and pouted. Again, I say, "Really?"
So yes, you could say that I am a horrible person and mean. If you knew me, you would know this is not the case. In these cases, the person with the more experience, in my case, experienced in dating and overall social skills, is portrayed as the bad person. Would you say this is the case here?
I remember that is what Mike told me, only not i such cheesy words. It was more along the lines of his sister thinking I was not right for him and it would only upset him and make him sad. It's funny because, tome, I am relatively the same in any relationship at the beginning. I enjoy being myself. I think you can tell the person who is not right for you because you can't be yourself. I started that relationship like I did with Ben and Cameron. The difference was him. He was uncomfortable around bunches of people. Keep in mind, to him, this is 6 people. When I had a party, remember, tome this equates to about, um, 10 people. So it is by no means an extreme, out of control party. He felt uncomfortable and sat in my room and pouted. I realized at that point that I really just had no tolerance for this. I was like, "really?"
Exhibit B is the sex. I am by no means an expert. I don't whore it up, but no joke; our first time was 2 minutes, maybe. Afterward, I kid you not, he asked me, "Was that the best you've ever had?" If you know me, you then know that I am not a quiet person. Those who know me a bit better than that, which is no one reading this but then you REALLY know. I'm not a quiet person...in bed. If it was the best I ever had. I would have woken up every neighbor for like a half a block, and I might be unconscious. You would go outside to have a cigarette and your downstairs neighbor would give you a fist pound. You might ask, how do you know this. I answer, because that is exactly what happened when it was the best I ever had. Ok, so back to the bad sex story. I know it was mean but I fought back a chuckle. I said, "Well, it's not the best I have ever had, at this time, the best it had ever been was with a jerk I "saw" for a little while. He then proceeds to tell me it was the best he ever had and what was the best I ever had. Whew. I went on to explain, but I will leave out the graphic details since it has been exceedingly better since.
The last straw was the time Amanda and Tim were house sitting for his rich aunt and uncle. We were all sitting in the hot tub, watching Stephen Lynch and talking about WOW. See how rowdy my get togethers are. Anyway, he gets out of the tub. We all think he is going to the bathroom or something. No, he is sitting by himself inside. He came outside like 20 minutes later and says he is leaving. I went inside and asked why. He said he felt he was not included enough in the situation and he was going home. No joke. I said ok and let him go. Maybe I should have been more considerate. I was 22 then. He could legally drink and he was whining about not being included in a conversation, upset enough that he went home and pouted. Again, I say, "Really?"
So yes, you could say that I am a horrible person and mean. If you knew me, you would know this is not the case. In these cases, the person with the more experience, in my case, experienced in dating and overall social skills, is portrayed as the bad person. Would you say this is the case here?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
